Wednesday, March 9, 2016

"Changing Perspective" [Good advice from a friend]

A very good friend called me last night having set a time to speak with me, 4:00 PM. At 4:00 sharp my phone rang, hello!

We spent two hours on the phone discussing an idea about starting a Non Profit that supports a very specific cause. Because he is a close, personal friend we spoke about a few other things too. Eventually, towards the end  of our conversation my friend said (paraphrasing), "Jeff, I cannot think of anyone else to have partner with me on this idea especially because of all of the people you know and your management ability. However, your perspective may need to change in a few areas!"

Okay, so let me set the stage as to why I am writing this. I woke up yesterday with the weight of my personal situation kicking my butt. I am 57 years old trying to put a very eclectic resume together that reads like chaos over the last 30 years of my life! From management in the food service industry, (which teaches you more than any class room can ever hope to teach) to writing books, writing a blog, doing radio, television, service plumbing, to unplugging your sewer line. How I have looked at work is simple "I can do that!" I tend to jump in and learn whatever needed to be learned. I have had many, many folks along the way guide me, educate me, and support me. I never finished college. College felt like jail to me, go figure?

I had a lot of help setting up our family business/company. Nevertheless, I have been kicking myself for years because I regret to this very day selling that family business. I have always felt like I let those people who helped me, down! My buddy said, "If you had not sold the company how much of what you are doing now would you be able to do?" (concerning our faith and our support for Israel) He had yet to utter the word  perspective but, throughout our conversation he kept offering another viewpoint.

I remember taking a profile test in Portland, Oregon through Idak Group, 2005 I think, which specifically revealed a strong propensity to work with and support people. Well, this was not news to me but a thousand dollars later I had a written personality report from Idak Group, they agreed!

My Mom and siblings think I am amazing, the wonder child of the family and yet I don't have anything. No house, property, or savings, all are gone. My eldest brother said to me a few years ago, "Your amazing, the stuff in your head amazes me! You have authored a book, written articles, started companies, done radio, television etc, etc and yet you act like you haven't accomplished much? Your children love you that's why you struggle with them so much! Jeff, at times I wonder if you realize how blessed your are. I have everything that you don't have and wish I had what you have!"

So, I am sitting on the sofa, sulking on the sofa would be more accurate a description most of yesterday. Not wanting to talk to GOD or anyone! Certainly not thinking about my brothers words...

Well, after talking with my friend for a couple of hours I spent the rest of the evening thinking about what he said, "Jeff, your perspective has to change in a few areas."  I woke up at 4:00 this morning, twelve ours later considering everything that my buddy said. Perhaps my resume is so chaotic because, I have never done what I really want to do? Perhaps I don't have the kind of income I could have because that stuff is not important to me, is that okay? I have never wanted money so that I could have things. (That's probably why I don't have things huh?) I have wanted money in order to help people. So why don't I have any money to help people?

I watch the program, "Undercover Boss" occasionally. I am usually in tears at the end of each episode (Just ask my wife) I use to watch a program where they would give a family a new home. Their was a geeky guy  named Ty who hosted this show called "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" I loved seeing the people blessed but I never thought they should be handed something they never had. People tend to create disasters when that happens! For me, tears rolling down my face after each episode was always about the people! Seeing people's lives touched for me is priceless.

So, my friend says, "Jeff, you need to go to Israel." In typical Jeff fashion, "I don't even have a passport dude!" He drops $140.00 into my Paypal account while I am talking on the phone, doesn't say a word. I look on my Facebook page where he typed a note, "Go get your passport you have the money to do that now!"
His idea is centered around Israel asking me to help facilitate the creation of a non profit. What he has in mind is a good idea, but what do I know? I have been doing a modicum of research this morning looking into his proposal thinking, well let's see what is already in play? I research everything, drives my wife nuts!

His idea may have wings, my "Juices are flowing!" The idea to help a country as oppose to a new home or being an undercover business owner or trying to find a job that I really don't want is now presented to me! Perhaps, James is more right than I understand. Perhaps I need to learn how to I change my perspective, embrace my eclectic resume, embrace my current situation, and stop feeling like I wish I had of, or I wish I didn't, or I wish I could have, geesh....I drive myself nuts!
Perhaps its okay to be who I have been most of my life? Perhaps not changing my perspective is a problem that I have lived with for too long. Perhaps my friend is absolutely right!

When I am at my lowest point it is usually when I feel like I am not doing anything constructive. Looking back at the chaotic resume always depresses me. I wonder how to do the next thing without any money Whose going to hire me, oh my God, what am I going to do?
What if I am looking at this with the wrong perspective?

My buddy asks,
"How was the Skip Moen Conference?" It was fantastic was my reply.
"How many people attended, Jeff."
We had 167 folks but we did not break even as far as costs. "Jeff, you were the instrument that touched 167 lives"
Jeff, how is your wife, Michele?
Well she came back from Israel changed but, I feel like I am not bringing enough money into our lives to make a dent in how hard she works. My friend finishes our conversation by telling me, "Jeff, I have listened to you for a couple of hours twice you have said somethings that tells me, YOUR PERSPECTIVE is in the wrong place........

That's what friends are for is more than a cliche. I stopped researching long enough to write this post. I am still thinking about what James said. Writing it down is a like a journal to me. I just tend to share it with you guys. Someone gave it the name "Blogging" several years ago, okay, whatever! Abba, Father always sends to me encouragement when I am in a low place. My friend, James, at 4:00 yesterday afternoon is proof!
Two of my good friends covered in mud, in Israel. James is on the left

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love ya brother!