Tuesday, April 14, 2015

When You Don't Know That Your Wrong Who Are YOU Hurting?

Part of am Email that I wrote to a very good friend:

Which brings me to the "Look in the Mirror" moment
Beginning last Wednesday at my men's meeting (in my home now 3 years strong) YAHWEH was forcing me to face something that I was not willing to hear concerning how I treat my wife. Thursday, another friend (My Employer)  said, you don't often talk about your wife with Mercy and Love as an integral part of virtually every conversation. Saturday morning two of the men in my men's group approached me before you spoke asking, "Can we talk with you, Saying, Wednesday night when you opened up about your marriage we never hear love and mercy, have you forgiven your wife? Then you get on the podium talking about loving your neighbor, mercy and yada, yada, yada. I went home fell on my face asking God, what am I missing?
On Sunday YHWH made crystal clear why I could not finish the book. I understood why I had this feeling of hypocrisy while writing the book, WOMEN, the crown jewel of creation". Abba, Father showed to me that I was hurting my closet neighbor, my wife and that I was not willing to forgive her. I thought I had forgiven her when we remarried. 

You see folks
I then realized that I had not forgiven myself either because I was not willing to let go of our past failures.I hated myself for becoming addicted to cocaine. I hated what happened to our family as a direct result.

These things are history for both my wife and I but I did not realize that I kept dragging both of us back to the cesspool!

Anyway I encourage us to not just hear but to do. Like I said above, I have some work to do. Those of you who have seen my You Tube Video "I Got Issues,Too" you may as well know that part of the reason I made it is to hold myself accountable to a long conversation that that I had with my beautiful wife. 

For the record, I am done sharing this part of our personal life. I hope it helps another man of God to just be real and admit when you/we are wrong!...It does the BODY good. And please stop fighting!

And yes, the email is to my very good friend, Bill Cloud

No comments: