Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Do You Cry Out For Your Family?

email Jeff....uncoloringrace@gmail.com

I have four children, all of them young adults. Two are married while the younger two are not. We have three grand children. None of our daughters have given birth. Among my siblings their are five brothers, two sisters. Their are three fathers involved with my immediate siblings, all are deceased.

from 2006 (I think)
I was the first one of both groups to ask God to show me who he was back on October 6, 1979. My momma (Our mother) soon followed, she never looked back. All of us, including my kids went through hell (emotional hell). Today we're a tattered family separated by miles, emotional anxiety, and unresolved issues.

Now that I have described damn near all of us, let me share with you why, at 55 years old, I am writing this.

In 2007 the Creator of life showed to me how to comprehend his word. He made me understand why Israel is, "Born Again" and what is happening, why it is happening, and what this crazy life is all about. This was such a profound thing that happened to me. Remarkable does not adequately describe the revelation that was down loaded into me in July, 2007. What happened caused me to shred what I had been taught  via Sunday churches, pastors and Western theological interpretations of the scriptures. To sit in a Sunday church listening to the message of Christianity is, to be brutally honest, nauseating to me! [The message people, not those who are seeking the word of God.]

Now, I am on the other side of raising kids, having a family etc, etc but I am  on the other side with this incredible, mind blowing revelation! My children are not, neither is my wife for that matter. One of my sisters is completely instep with what happened to me, she got it! I remember when, as a Christian women YHVH opened her eyes. She was in tears on the phone with me. Watching her journey has been, for me confirmation in many ways of my own experience. I have another sister who is starting to peel off layers of seminary training based on her degree. Our mother has suffered four strokes with certain consequences in play. She is amazed at her son (Me) and what is in my head concerning the dramatic change that God poured into my being in 2007.

Nevertheless, my children do not see what is happening, nor do they comprehend the WORD of God. I see what is taking shape almost in the same way people my age or older know the story of Dorothy and the Wizard of OZ. I understand things that most cannot even see. Christianity taught to us doom and gloom, "While joy cometh in the morning." True, however, our generation is Godless especially in the lives of our children.....
How many of you have kids, now adults, who reject biblical truth but, who were also raised in the church?

Now that I am on the other side of raising a family, getting remarried to my wife who gave birth to three of our kids the anguish of how they are tattered and broken from one another is quietly, devastating to me. If I had not had this revelation poured into my spirit the emotional difficulty would possibly be unbearable. Moreover, knowing, watching, anticipating great calamity with in the United States of America while my children are just trying to, "DO LIFE" without the biblical promises of a Holy God, is at times, almost too much for me to tread through.

I live with joy, a sort of remarkable effervescence always motivating me. I write, study and exist to seek YHVH's ways. I am not always up beat or encourage or even desiring to struggle through the crap. One thing I can never be is.....defeated. This is not possible because I know the eternal outcome. I don't live with hope but rather the promises of the Creator of everything offered via the privilege of life. I started this post out by confirming how bad we screw up life, and cause great difficulty in the lives of others, especially our families. Many of us simply play forward down from generation to generation vomit, chaos, and dysfunction!

I don't live in that mess any more but almost all of my family does. As a result, I struggle personally with the contributions that I made that have my family so broken.  I also live with the reality of a righteous, holy, loving Elohim who has purposed his Kingdom or Nation in this earth.......If I did not live with this absolute...I can imagine quite easily living, dead!

I leap out of bed every day because I belong to the KINGDOM of YHVH not the misery of failure! I wish that I could wave my hand so that my family could see why? They simply do not know, I get to watch their lives accordingly. Nothing is more painful to me, nothing! My children are good, people doing life in what men have raised up, not YHVH. I once lived this way too!

Virtually every Saturday while in services at El Shaddai Ministries I cry out for my kids, my family. When you are watching our live streaming and see the children come up to be prayed over, I will be holding part of the tallit, crying out for my family. In my prayer time I do so very, very privately and then I believe Abba, Father.
Now how many of you understand this post?

I agree, some things should remain private. I talk with many of you who are living this post...I am choosing not to keep my own situation private...We all need help and we all need prayer! The world of men hates me and you...and our kids!

Finally, what I have been shown makes the idiocy in the world so obvious. You cannot help but to be amazed that YHVH has tolerated us for nearly seven Millennium!

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