Friday, January 13, 2012

Personal Sin, The Unconfessed kind

Well folks, the day that I go under the knife is January 19th. I have a competent, Christian doctor who will be slicing my neck open from my right ear lobe to just below my Adam's apple. I am warned, "the scar will be very noticeable." In all honesty, I have thought more about that scar over the last two days than just about anything.

I am thinking in terms of the scars that we cause to our spirit due to sin. Deuteronomy 28 keeps coming to my mind. The chapter that we are all familiar with concerning blessings and curses. I remember sharing on this very chapter in Texas a few years ago. I remember the children that I was addressing and how they hung onto every word coming out of my mouth. It was humbling, so much so that I was trying to not break down. Abba, Father, prior to this trip asked me to call my former wife and to apologize to her. I remember thinking, WHY?

In that moment, before these kids Abba made me aware of the fact that the very thing that I was sharing with these kids and their families I did not share with my former wife and my kids over the course of twenty five years. It was very difficult to continue my presentation as you can imagine. Our Elohim was right of course, I had not shared much with my family according to his standards certainly concerning TORAH.

I have had time to reflect on many of my failures over the last few days. Truth be told, I have just as much sin in my life, both confessed and UN-confessed as do most of us. To simply broad brush the point would be almost as bad as passing the buck. Really, being set apart, Holy requires just that...Abba Father does not cut corners. I had a Jewish Rabbi say to me, "Just do the best that you can with the information God has provided" Well, if I did that I would be confessing every little detail of how I have failed, continue to fail and possible will always fail the Kingdom while living in this flesh. Suffice it to say, I have sinned, some you know about and others, no human being alive knows about.
So, I don't live in my scars as I wrote in my book, Un-Coloring Race. This has been a sort of banner, monogram if you will of my position on the subject of emotional pain. However, I have been wondering over the last few days, how many of my scars live in me as a result of sin?

In the Torah Moses recorded "And it shall be, when he shall be guilty in one of these things, that he shall confess that he has sinned in that thing" [Leviticus 5:5] Well, I understand the context but did I and do we not swear an oath when we enter the covenant agreement that Abba, as well as Yeshua is holding themselves accountable to?
Proverbs 28:13 declares: "He that covers his sins shall not prosper: but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy."
Job 31:33-34 continues: If I covered my transgressions as Adam, by hiding my iniquity in my bosom. Did I fear a great multitude, or did the contempt of families terrify me, that I kept silence, and went not out of the door?
 In fact, if we go all the way, "Back to the Beginning" we see the initiation of why we do what we do: Genesis 3:10 And he said, I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

Well folks there are things in my life that cause me to be naked and ashamed. There are things in my life that cause me to hide from Abba, Father as well. The past has a way of keeping us bound and so yes, I guess it is true even in my case....The scars live inside of me as opposed to me living inside of my scars and they do so because of sin.

So as I prepare to have yet another major surgery know that I too, fall short in several areas of my walk. Their are areas of my life that I have not prospered as a result. The word of our Elohim is not just a book of knowledge but a book that leads to life, eternal life. It does so according to our Creator not our justification of breaking covenant. I continue to marvel at the fact that our amazing King to come has never broken his end of the deal. the covenants with Israel, that he sacrificed his life for in order for God to complete his work in the restoration of the Kingdom remain intact. We are the ones that need mercy. We are the ones who need grace...we are the ones who benefited from his blood when the Father decided to call for the life of Yeshua in order to fulfill his obligation to first, Israel and than the nations. I am no different than anyone of you. He also did this for me......
Our King has no shame

Abba, Farther, I have sinned against you, your covenant promises and broken the oath that I entered into when I met Yeshua. Father, I have done this many, many times. You know the lawlessness {Iniquity} that is in my soul. You see what I have hid and am ashamed to confess. Father, you know that I will continue to head straight for the mark and overcome areas in my life that dishonor your name. I am confident that you will complete in me what you have begun. Thank you YHWH for calling me into your Kingdom, I pray that I will excel and not falter with what you have put before me to do.

What I do have, which affords me a moment to be this intimate is Joy. I am watching the confirmation of our coming Mochiach happening all around us, and in every minute I breathe. I pray that I will have the guts to stand before our King, worthy. Those guts are needed now, not when he arrives so please I need your prayers  too.

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